This is a story I wrote long back.....I had written it is German and submitted it in a literature competition...This story is dear to me, because it gave me an opportunity to visit Germany on a scholarship.
Me and my Identities-The First Encounter
"Hi! I am a girl, and my name is Anita Pradhan." This sentence seems very easy at this moment. However the situation was not so simple when I was 5 years old. That was the age of innocence. No worries in the world. Everything was as blissful as it could be. And then...I met "them". Who, u ask? Well, you will know soon enough.
"Hi! I am Anita Pradhan." This was to be the standard reply to the question 'Who are u?' or 'what is your name?’ when I first learnt how to say this, I was really glad and also a bit proud.
Then I started going to school and gradually the boundaries of my little world started expanding themselves. One day, we had a new teacher joining our school. There was an introduction session where in everyone had to say out loud in front of the class what their name was. I was really very disappointed that everyone else had the same line to say like I had. However it was a relief to know that everyone was not going to say "Anita Pradhan" after all. When it was finally my turn I started to say..."Hi! I am...” I could not however complete my sentence. She suddenly said, "Oh...I think I know you! You are Asha Pradhan's daughter!” I protested, "No no no no", I said, "I am Anita Pradhan!” She smiled as if I had just told her a funny incident. She said, "Yes you are a girl, you are Anita Pradhan, but you are also Asha's daughter.”
I was taught not to place my trust easily on strangers. 'I think I know why', I said to myself. I decided to confirm this piece of information. That night I went home and asked my mom, "Mum, who am I?" She thought that I found some immense pleasure in hearing my name from her mouth (which, by the way , I did) and so she started..."You are a girl and you are Anita Pradhan.". This really confused me. I said, "But my teacher told me today that I am your daughter!" She laughed. Perhaps I was really good at telling funny stories and jokes. She finally said, "Yes you are a girl, but you are also my daughter. It is like...your second identity. For example, I am a woman but I am also a mother." In order to understand this better I decided to note this down somewhere.
I went to my room and got a book. This was what I wrote there.
Q: Who am I?
1) I am a girl.
2) I am a daughter.
I repeated that a few times and could then say it by heart. I was happy again. Life was simple again.
However, it could not remain that simple. Two years later there was a new little child to be seen in the house. He was really very cute! Many visited us to take a look at him, and play with him...and consequently to confuse me more. They all had just one thing to say to me, "Now you have to behave like an elder sister. Teach him good things. You are his sister. ". 'Sister? huh?' is what I thought to myself. That night the scene from 2 years back repeated itself. I went to my mother and asked her about this. She explained it was my third identity. It was time to get the book out again. I took the book to her and asked her what exactly has to be done. She quietly took the book and pencil from my hand and made new entry in the book.
3) I am a sister.
Now the concept was pretty clear to me. I just had to keep on adding more answers to this question. I also realized that it was going to be really difficult to remember all this. So I promised myself that I will maintain this book always. And, I have remained true to this promise even today.
Till date, I’ve had to make many additions in this book. During the communal riots, it was explained to me that I am a Hindu. While visiting a foreign country I realized I am an Indian. Now I am married and somebody’s wife, mother and also somebody’s aunt. The number has reached to 20.
This book was called 'who am I?’ …Not very creative at the time. In years to follow it got its second identity....and is now called "My Identities".
So this was how we met. As much as I love all of them and life is wonderful with each one of them...I am also sometimes scared 'what if I loose one of them? Or worse...what if I loose myself in them?' But that thought can wait...for now. I have got more important things to do and one of them is...making an addition in the book. So, here it is:
21) I am an Author.
Me and my Identities-The First Encounter
"Hi! I am a girl, and my name is Anita Pradhan." This sentence seems very easy at this moment. However the situation was not so simple when I was 5 years old. That was the age of innocence. No worries in the world. Everything was as blissful as it could be. And then...I met "them". Who, u ask? Well, you will know soon enough.
"Hi! I am Anita Pradhan." This was to be the standard reply to the question 'Who are u?' or 'what is your name?’ when I first learnt how to say this, I was really glad and also a bit proud.
Then I started going to school and gradually the boundaries of my little world started expanding themselves. One day, we had a new teacher joining our school. There was an introduction session where in everyone had to say out loud in front of the class what their name was. I was really very disappointed that everyone else had the same line to say like I had. However it was a relief to know that everyone was not going to say "Anita Pradhan" after all. When it was finally my turn I started to say..."Hi! I am...” I could not however complete my sentence. She suddenly said, "Oh...I think I know you! You are Asha Pradhan's daughter!” I protested, "No no no no", I said, "I am Anita Pradhan!” She smiled as if I had just told her a funny incident. She said, "Yes you are a girl, you are Anita Pradhan, but you are also Asha's daughter.”
I was taught not to place my trust easily on strangers. 'I think I know why', I said to myself. I decided to confirm this piece of information. That night I went home and asked my mom, "Mum, who am I?" She thought that I found some immense pleasure in hearing my name from her mouth (which, by the way , I did) and so she started..."You are a girl and you are Anita Pradhan.". This really confused me. I said, "But my teacher told me today that I am your daughter!" She laughed. Perhaps I was really good at telling funny stories and jokes. She finally said, "Yes you are a girl, but you are also my daughter. It is like...your second identity. For example, I am a woman but I am also a mother." In order to understand this better I decided to note this down somewhere.
I went to my room and got a book. This was what I wrote there.
Q: Who am I?
1) I am a girl.
2) I am a daughter.
I repeated that a few times and could then say it by heart. I was happy again. Life was simple again.
However, it could not remain that simple. Two years later there was a new little child to be seen in the house. He was really very cute! Many visited us to take a look at him, and play with him...and consequently to confuse me more. They all had just one thing to say to me, "Now you have to behave like an elder sister. Teach him good things. You are his sister. ". 'Sister? huh?' is what I thought to myself. That night the scene from 2 years back repeated itself. I went to my mother and asked her about this. She explained it was my third identity. It was time to get the book out again. I took the book to her and asked her what exactly has to be done. She quietly took the book and pencil from my hand and made new entry in the book.
3) I am a sister.
Now the concept was pretty clear to me. I just had to keep on adding more answers to this question. I also realized that it was going to be really difficult to remember all this. So I promised myself that I will maintain this book always. And, I have remained true to this promise even today.
Till date, I’ve had to make many additions in this book. During the communal riots, it was explained to me that I am a Hindu. While visiting a foreign country I realized I am an Indian. Now I am married and somebody’s wife, mother and also somebody’s aunt. The number has reached to 20.
This book was called 'who am I?’ …Not very creative at the time. In years to follow it got its second identity....and is now called "My Identities".
So this was how we met. As much as I love all of them and life is wonderful with each one of them...I am also sometimes scared 'what if I loose one of them? Or worse...what if I loose myself in them?' But that thought can wait...for now. I have got more important things to do and one of them is...making an addition in the book. So, here it is:
21) I am an Author.
